The Toilet
by Fallingofftheworld
Summary: The title says it all. Bashes almost every character. Beware.


(The Rangers are at the Animarium, whining, crying, and talking pessimistically about a recent defeat. Suddenly, a loud flushing sound is heard.)  
  
Taylor: What's that?  
  
Alyssa: It sounds like a toilet flushing! But no one's in the bathroom!  
  
Shayla: Rangers, come quickly!!!  
  
(The Rangers go to the sacred water, and see it being drained through a giant whirlpool.)  
  
Danny: Whoa!  
  
Max: What's happening?  
  
Shayla: There is an Org in the city!!! Please hurry!!!  
  
__| |  
\_/  
  
(The Rangers hurry to the city, and meet their worst nightmare. The Toilet Org!)  
  
Merrick: What is that?  
  
Alyssa: It looks like a giant toilet! And it's glowing!  
  
Danny: What's it gonna do? Flush us?  
  
(The Rangers race around like crazed idiots, until Cole comes up with an idea.)  
  
Cole:Wild Access!  
  
Danny: Yeah! Why didn't I think of that myself?  
  
Taylor: Uh. . .because you're an idiot?  
  
Cole: I said, Wild Access!  
  
(The Rangers morph, jump a mile into the air, and land near the Org. The Org extends a plunger- like appendage, grabs a garbage can, and puts it in it's mouth.)  
  
Max: Look! It just ate a garbage can!  
  
Alyssa: It must be trying to flush the city!  
  
Cole: Shut up and fight!  
  
(After flushing, the toilet extends another appendage, this time a toilet brush.)  
  
Toilet Org: You're going down, Rangers! (Slams the toilet brush in front of the Rangers, causing a high-density explosion.)  
  
All: Whoa!  
  
Alyssa: (Whining.) It's too stroooooong!  
  
Danny: (Whining.) We'll have to retreeeeaaat!  
  
Taylor: We haven't used our Wild Zords yet!  
  
Merrick: Yeah, Stupid!  
  
Cole: Wait! Red Lion is speaking to me!  
  
Danny: What is it saying?  
  
(Cole turns white as a ghost.)  
  
Cole: I-I'm sorry. I can't tell you this one.  
  
Alyssa: What do we dooooooo?!  
  
Taylor: We've fought stronger Orgs than this! I can't believe you guys!  
  
(In the time they've been whining, the Org has consumed nearly every garbage can, street sign, and bench in sight.)  
  
Toilet Org: Can't 'handle' it, can you? (Extends a third appendage, an arm, and pushes it's handle.)  
  
Alyssa: It just flushed! Noooo!  
  
Cole: Well, we can't just stand here like idiots! We have to do something!  
  
Alyssa: But what can we do?! We'll get flushed!  
  
Merrick: So we get flushed. Standing here isn't any better.  
  
(The Rangers all jump a mile into the air, and land next to the toilet again.)  
  
Cole: Go!  
  
(The Rangers hack and slash away at the toilet, until they peirce it's porcelain armor and the water drains out.)  
  
Toilet Org: NOOOO!! (Falls down and explodes.)  
  
All: Yeah!  
  
(Toxica appears.)  
  
Toxica: Evil spirits of toil and strife! Give this fallen. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Org. . .new life! (Throws out the seeds. The Glowing Toilet Org reappears, but is much smaller than before.)  
  
Toxica: Oops.  
  
(Toxica repeats the Magic Words. This time, successfully.)  
  
Toilet Org: Ahhh! Down the drain with you, Rangers!  
  
Danny: Oh no! It's even bigger than before!  
  
Alyssa: What are we gonna doooooo?!  
  
Danny: Quit whining! ( Slaps Alyssa.)  
  
Alyssa: (Bursts into tears!)  
  
Merrick: That's just pathetic. (Rolls his eyes.)  
  
Cole: Wait! Red Lion is speaking to me!  
  
Taylor: Again?!  
  
Cole: He says we should use our Wild Zords!  
  
Merrick: You must be really, really stupid if he has to tell you that.  
  
Cole: Wild Zords Descend!  
  
(The Wild Zords come running, and combine to form the Megazord.)  
  
(Before the Rangers can get inside the Megazord, the Org grabs it, and puts it into it's bowl. Then it reaches for it's handle with it's toilet-brush. The Crystals shatter.)  
  
Cole: Red Lion! Speak to me!  
  
Max: Surging Snail! Nooooo!  
  
Danny: Iron Cow! Nooooooooo!  
  
Alyssa: Noble Tapeworm! No!  
  
Taylor: Soaring Chicken! Nooooooooo! (Bursts into tears again!)  
  
Merrick: Dung beetle!  
  
Toilet Org: Ha! Ha! Ha! (Flushes loudly.) Your victory is just a pipe dream now!  
  
Max: Oh man, it just flushed our Wild Zords! What do we do now?  
  
Taylor: There must be some way to defeat it.  
  
Merrick: Look! (Points to the top of the cliff.)  
  
Alyssa: It's Princess Shayla! And the Soulbird egg!  
  
Cole: Has it hatched?  
  
Shayla: Yes!!!! (Releases the Soulbird as it hatches.)  
  
(The Soulbird flies over the Toilet Org, but is grabbed by the plunger, along with Princess Shayla.)  
  
Cole: No!  
  
Max: Nooo!  
  
Danny: Oh no!  
  
Taylor: No! Stop!  
  
Alyssa: Waaaah!  
  
Merrick: Stop!!!  
  
Shayla: OH NO!!!! HELP!!!  
  
Flush.  
  
Cole: What do we do now?  
  
Taylor: You don't know? You're the Leader! I can't believe you!"  
  
Alyssa: There's nothing we can do now. . .Waaaah!  
  
(The Toilet Org devours a building, then belches violently, causing a tidal wave to gush from it's bowl.)  
  
Merrick: We still have our powers, don't we?  
  
Alyssa: They're gone! Waaah!  
  
Cole: Retreat!  
  
__| |  
\_/  
  
(At the Animerium. Cole is thinking of a plan. Max is chanting, 'Never give up'. Taylor is holding a rock over Max's head in a threatening sort of way. Alyssa is crying her eyes out. Danny is mumbling to himself. Merrick is doing nothing, as usual.)  
  
Max: There has to be a way.  
  
Alyssa: But what?! (Throws another Kleenex® into the largely growing pile!)  
  
Taylor: We don't have our powers. Our Wild Zords have been flushed. The city is being destroyed by one of the least respected thing in the world. There is nothing we can do.  
  
Cole: Wait! Red Lion is speaking to me!  
  
Max: What is he saying?  
  
Taylor: Wait. How can he be speaking to you? He's dead!  
  
Cole: Red Lion is saying, 'Fight the Toilet Org.'  
  
Alyssa: Are you sure he's saying that?!  
  
Cole: Yes.  
  
Taylor: We just did. It didn't work. We were nearly flushed.  
  
Cole: We didn't actually 'Fight The Org'. We just fled. Maybe, if we fight, we'll succeed!  
  
Danny: Do you want to fight it?  
  
Taylor: Maybe he's right. Either way, I'm not staying here just to mourn.  
  
Cole: So You'll go?  
  
Taylor: Well, I don't want to be with these wimps.  
  
Alyssa We're not Wimps! Waaah!  
  
Taylor Alright, alright. Sorry.  
  
Cole: Who's going?  
  
All: Me!  
  
(At the city, The Toilet Org is still eating buildings, but at a very slow rate.)  
  
Toilet Org: Yawn.  
  
Cole: Look. It stopped glowing. It must be getting tired.  
  
Alyssa: It's going to sleep!  
  
Taylor: It's bowl must be emptying. I can hear it flush.  
  
Alyssa: Should we fight it now?! What if it wakes up?!  
  
Taylor: Then it wakes up. Big deal. In the time it's taking us to decide, it's probably already waking up.  
  
Max: All we need now is a method.  
  
Cole: Find some rocks. We'll try to break the porcelain.  
  
(The Rangers gather large, heavy rocks. Then they confront the Org.)  
  
Alyssa: They're too heavy! Waaaah! Cole, help me!  
  
Cole: My arms are already full. Ask Merrick. He's not doing anything, anyway.  
  
Alyssa: Merrick, help meeeeeeeeee!  
  
Merrick: Oh, good grief. Here. (Takes the rocks.)  
  
Alyssa: Thank yoooo!  
  
Merrick: Uh. . .don't mention it. (Rolls his eyes.)  
  
(The Rangers approach the Toilet Org, big heavy rocks in hand.)  
  
Cole: Now!!!  
  
(The Rangers all throw the rocks at the Toilet Org, but they bounce off.)  
  
Taylor: Good Heavens! They didn't even leave a dent!  
  
(Alyssa manages to throws her rock, and it leaves a dent! Yay!)  
  
Cole: Wait a minute!  
  
Taylor: What?! Is Red Lion speaking to you?! What is he saaaaay-ing?  
  
Cole: It's not Red Lion.  
  
Alyssa: Then what is it?!  
  
Cole: I think I know what to do!  
  
(Cole runs up to the toilet, and jumps in.)  
  
Alyssa: Cole! Noooooooooooooo!  
  
Merrick: What did he just do?!  
  
Danny: It looks like he just jumped in! But why?  
  
Taylor: I'm going in too. (Climbs up the toilet and jumps in.)  
  
Alyssa: Guys, we should go too!  
  
Max: But we'll get flushed!  
  
Alyssa: Merrick, didn't you just say you heard the water being drained out?! Besides, if Cole and Taylor get flushed, we should get flushed!  
  
Danny: I guess you're right. Lets go.  
  
(They jump in. Inside, it is very dark, musty, and humid.)  
  
Danny: Wow. It's just what I've always dreamed it to be. It's like the inside of a toilet.  
  
Taylor: It IS a toilet!  
  
Danny: Oh.  
  
(Suddenly, Putrids appear.)  
  
All: Oh no! Putrids!  
  
Alyssa: But we don't have our powers!  
  
Taylor: We don't need our powers. You sure are stupid.  
  
Alyssa: Waaaah!  
  
Taylor: Alright, alright. I'm sorry. You aren't stupid. oO Oh, how I wish she would shut up. Oo  
  
Alyssa: (Smiles!)  
  
Cole: Guys, you're supposed to be fighting.  
  
Alyssa: Oops. We forgot.  
  
Kick, punch, kick, punch, kick, punch.  
  
(When the putrids were dead, the Rangers continued going through the smelly, slime covered pipes of the Toilet Org.)  
  
Alyssa: What do we do in here?!  
  
Cole: Find something to break these walls with.  
  
Alyssa: What about a rock?!  
  
Taylor: What about. . .YOUR HEAD!!!!  
  
Alyssa: Waaaah!  
  
Merrick: Be on guard. I don't know what's beyond this Slimy, Ugly Wooden Valve.  
  
(Merrick opens the valve, and is stunned by what he sees!)  
  
Merrick: Guys! Come here! Hurry!  
  
Alyssa: What is it?! Putrids?! Orgs?! What is it, Merrick?! Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!  
  
(The Rangers go through the valve.)  
  
Cole: Red Lion!  
  
Max: Surging Snail!  
  
Danny: Iron Cow!  
  
Taylor: Soaring Chicken.  
  
Alyssa: Noble Tapeworm! Dung beetle! And all the benches and street signs and buildings and garbage cans! And our powers! Wow! (Passes out.)  
  
(Red Lion has acquired a nasty blue rust, Noble Tapeworm has grown to an unbelievable size, and Surging Snail has sustained minor shell shock. But for the most part, they are fine.)  
  
Merrick: See? It doesn't actually digest what it eats. It just stores it in this Large Room, with a Slimy, Ugly, Wooden Valve.  
  
Drip, drip, drip.  
  
Cole: Or does it?  
  
Drip, drip, drip.  
  
Alyssa: Guys, I've got a bad feeling about this!  
  
Cole: Quick! Get the steel beams from the building and bash it against the wall. Maybe we can break it before the digestion process starts.  
  
Taylor: Why don't we morph?  
  
Cole: Wild Access!  
  
(The Rangers Morph.)  
  
Merrick: Wait. Where's Princess Shayla?  
  
Alyssa: And the Soulbird! What happened to them?!  
  
Max: Guys. . .look. (Points to the corner of the triangular room, where a skeletonized Princess Shayla lies next to a badly rusted Soulbird.)  
  
Cole: Oh. . .Man.  
  
Danny: Oh. . .Oh. . .Oh. . .  
  
Alyssa: (Bawls her eyes out!) She gave her life. . .for us. . .  
  
Taylor: Alyssa, don't be so dramatic. And, uh. . .oh. . Princess Shayla. . .  
  
Cole: Well, what's done is done. We don't want to be digested, too, do we?  
  
Alyssa: No, we don't! Come on!  
  
Merrick: Uh-oh. Look. (Points to Danny's newly skeletonized leg.)  
  
Danny: (Blushes). Oh. Ehehehe.  
  
(The Rangers begin bashing steel beems against the walls of the giant Toilet Org.)  
  
Cole: This isn't working. Guys, we'll have to. . .have to. . .have to. . .oh, man.  
  
Alyssa: What is it, Cole?  
  
Cole: The walls are leaking acid. Quickly, get to the top of the tank.  
  
Taylor: There's no way up. we'll have to exit through the bowl.  
  
Alyssa: But that's impossible! It's too high up, and it has a very smooth surface!  
  
Max: Then we'll clog the pipes. The water will rise, and then it will flood.  
  
Taylor: For once in your life, you say something smart. What could we flood it with?  
  
Cole: Noble Tapeworm! If you can fit him through the tunnel and then turn the water on, we can get out before the acid kills us!  
  
All: Yeah!  
  
(When the Rangers find the valve that opens the water, Alyssa leads Noble Tapeworm through the tunnel, and the rest of the group follows.)  
  
Max: Guys, hurry. My left leg is gone.  
  
Danny: Mine too. And my arm. And-oh my goodness! My side!  
  
Merrick: We're going as fast as we can. Cut the whining. Taylor: Guys, wait up. Noble Tapeworm is having trouble.  
  
Cole: Having trouble with what?  
  
Taylor: Getting through the tunnel, you complacent snot.  
  
(Alyssa finally gets the giant tapeworm through the tunnel. By now it has absorbed so much water that it has acquired a rather fluffy texture, but unflushable nonetheless.)  
  
Alyssa: Noble Tapeworm! Go!  
  
(Noble Tapeworm floats to the top, and leaves a sickening scummy film on the tunnel walls.)  
  
Taylor: Gee, that's just disgusting.  
  
(Cole finally reaches the handle.)  
  
Cole: Ready?  
  
All: Ready!  
  
(Cole pushes down on the handle. The Rangers try desperately to stay on top as Noble Tapeworm expands further to clog the pipes. They are successful, and the water begins to rise.)  
  
Alyssa: The water is beginning to rise! Thank you, Noble Tapeworm!  
  
Noble Tapeworm: (Bows it's head. Or tail. It's the same creature, backwards or forwards.)  
  
(The Rangers jump out of the giant Toilet Org, and unmorph for some reason. Unfortunately, Danny has lost all four limbs, and is unable to crawl out before he is digested.)  
  
Alyssa: Yeah! We're safe!  
  
Cole: But we haven't defeated it yet.  
  
Alyssa: Look! It's waking up! Waah!  
  
(Suddenly, the Toilet Org begins to spark.)  
  
Toilet Org: What? What's happening to me? NOOOO!!!!  
  
Alyssa: The Wild Zords must be defeating it from the inside!  
  
Taylor: I already knew that, dummy.  
  
(Toilet Org falls to the ground and explodes. Unfortunately, the Wild Zords sustain major damage, and the puffy Noble Tapeworm is all but a gooey mess when the Toilet disintegrates.)  
  
Alyssa: Noble Tapeworm! Oh no!  
  
The Rangers rejoice and Noble Tapeworm drains. The Wild Zords leave the scene, and the group returns to the Animarium. Needless to say, they were reluctant to ever enter a bathroom again. 


End file.
